Sometimes I hate myself. I look at where I am and where I’ve always wanted to be, and the people who are already there.

I’m not complaining about where I am, but its not where I always wanted to be.

I’ll always have that ache inside. The “what if”. One huge “what if”.

Do u think I belong here?


  1. i know exactly how u feel ... all my life i wanted to be a (dancer, fashion designer, architecture, psychologist or an interior designer) all nice and bright futures and what am i now? a teacher .. an english teacher .. :'(
    hopefully not forever .. plan A didnt work out so now im trying to get my ass to move onto plan B .. but damn is it taking long? im afraid that its gona take so long that i will tend to give up ..
    i just hope that i dont ..
    so dont worry souma .. i know what your feeling .. and dont give up and inshallah u will become something that you love and that you will enjoy being for as long as you want ..

  2. you know souma some days i cant sleep all night because i keep thinking and thinking and asking my self the ( what if ) quistion .
    and i make it worse bt drinking a count less cups of coffee . and believe me its not fun .
    i think its OK to be unhappy about how things goin on in your life because it will be a motivation 4 you to work harder to make your life better . but when you over think about it it will make things even worse ( look at me ) .

  3. Everything in life happens for a reason.. don't ever look at the people surrounding you, and focus onto yourself and achievements, trust me your much better in the future.. I used to be in your shoes, and I learnt to appreciate myself more, I worked my ass off, got my butt kicked a few times and i'm in a place where people wish they'e be in... Dear, all it needs is faith, strong belief, hard work and a smile on your face to love yourself :)

    P.s. You belong everywhere, not just here.

  4. Oi. I have no answers for that one. *sigh*

  5. twisted, a7mad and baby rockstar: thax *hug*

    g: thank u,, really... this is like hearing the voice in my head coming from someone else. thanx *hug*

  6. Hey Souma sweetie, I just wanna say that it's never too late, ur so young you can re-plan at any moment.. It is wise to realise that you're in the wrong place early enough.. I'm not gonna lie to you and say that it's just a phase, if you're not content you will never succeed.. you're an artist, and artists flourish when they're content ;) it's not like you're doing business when u want accounting, you're doing north when you want east.. get my point? 2 pieces of advice, look at the big picture, not at yourself 2 or 3 years from now, but 10 15 years.. will you be happy doing what you're doing? :)

  7. oh dear... dont we all go thru it.. :( i suggest u read the book.. ( the five ppl u meet in heaven ) its very good for times like these.. *hug*


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