Saturday, February 20, 2010

I've Been Downhearted Baby

“Is it in his face?
Oh no, it's just his charms.
In his warm embrace?
Oh no, that's just his arms.
If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss.” –Cher

What if he never embraced you, let alone kissed you? Whenever you sit at his table he gets up and whenever you enter a room he leaves? He clearly states his wishes to provide whatever you want/need, though he is not physically impaired he is subconsciously driven away from you.

It ended before it even began. Or was this it’s full course?

How can someone who spoke to you for hours as a friend in past years instantaneously avoid you simply because he decided to spend the rest of his life with you?

Does any of this make sense to you? It doesn’t make much sense to me.

Then those malignant thoughts start building up. Did he realize he shouldn’t’ve asked you to marry him? Is he ashamed of you? Did he realize he wanted someone else? Does he think you’re fat? Was your friendship even real? Were all those years him pretending? You can’t help these thoughts, they push their way through your busiest moments.

Not to mention the little habits you had as friends as they start bugging you. You can’t/won’t text him before college/work. You can’t/won’t send him photos of stuff before you buy them. You can’t/won’t call him to rant about your day.

Would you hate him? To forgive and forget is a wonderful concept, easier said than implemented. He left you so you won’t hate him. But can you truly forgive him for that?


4 comments:

  1. i've noticed in recent years how many guys over play the "i'm not ready for commitment" card, and I for one don't buy it...

    yes, deciding that you want to marry someone is a big step, and it is somewhat scary.. but not scary enough to back out in the more cowardice of ways (sorry I don't mean to offend him, i'm just being general)

    i'm sorry for asking, but did you confront him regarding his new attitude? although, i would assume he will give you an answer that will guarantee you hate him for the rest of your life..

    so is this one of those situations where not knowing is better?

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  2. Health insurance advert from Bao above--You might want to poof that one. LOL :)

    I will be back to comment on all the posts and comments I've saved from your blog. As I wrote on mine, my father passed away February 19 and was put to rest February 23, so I was out of commenting mode for a while.

    Later!

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  3. I am sorry you are downhearted. In matters of the heart it is often very hard to understand the whys and the wherefores. If it is truly over, try to forgive YOURSELF for whatever failings you are IMAGINING, and then him, at least enough to move on. And, if as is common, anger and hurt are accompanying one another, remember the Spanish proverb: "Living well is the best revenge".

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  4. *Hugs* I'm sorry things are going that way. I wish we could knock him back to his senses for you.

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