Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Part Trois: Love and Marriage
I have a wonderful cousin who’s just around 24 years old who wants to get married. And guess who’s duty it is to find the lucky lady? You guessed it! Yours truly has been bride shopping lately!
He’s been looking for a bride for over a year now. Whenever he met a girl he fancied he’d call me and ask me to meet her for coffee, which I do. And they were all perfectly sweet young ladies. Until they weren’t.
One wanted him to never talk to me or see me again. Another wanted him to stop visiting mom so frequently. A third one wanted him to stop seeing his childhood friends. A fourth one went enquiring about the market value of his family business. Sweethearts, weren’t they?
And that was when my mother suggested we do things more traditionally. My second cousin’s college bestfriend’s sister in law has a third cousin twice removed… you get the picture.
Now don’t run amok saying Asmaa wants all the girls to get boyfriends, I’m just not a fan of checking out a girl as if she were merchandise on display.
Her skin’s too dark, her skin’s too light. Her hair’s curly. She’s fat. She goes to medical school, does she intend to work after she graduates? No, after 6 excruciating years and an internship I intend to stay at home. They pry into the tiniest details of girl’s life and it’s not them getting married, it’s a guy she wont meet until both families agree on the terms of purchase. I feel terrible checking girls out, really!
The girl doesn't get to talk much. After the mothers talk, the girl is called into the room and most of the time just sits quietly on a sofa since both mothers already discussed everything there is to be known about the girl and the guy. As she sits there observing the ritual I sit on another sofa observing her and feeling like a slave merchant. Remember that scene in The Gladiator? I bet Russell Crowe wasn't required to be able to cook, clean, do laundry, iron and not break a sweat.
Families agreeing with each other is important, since you marry the family not the girl. But how about he meets her and not me? He can provide me with a list of his demands but it wont be like meeting her.
What I would really like for him is to meet a girl who can accept him for who he is, with whom he shares a common goal. Someone he’s comfortable being himself around, who wont judge him.
First two parts:
Part One: L-O-V-E
Part Two: Love is...