Sunday, February 05, 2012

A Rant.

This is what a quiet little rant looks like, please read in a quiet almost monotonous voice:

I realise I haven't blogged properly in a while.

I lost something, I'm not quite sure what it is or where it's gone off to. I've been trying to find out what it was for quite some while now, as that would make it easier for me to find where it went. It's been quite the rough few months, I've only just made it through thanks to the tons of love from family and friends. I'll have to figure this out on my own, but for now all hugs appreciated.

Also, lately the materialistic aspects of my life have become rather repulsive to me. The more my clothes are worth, the less I feel I'm worth. That would possibly be my main issue with makeup as well. Which clashes with my instinct to never look dishevelled, thus creating a very confusing aspect of my current state of existence.

In addition, my sociophobia is to be commended as it has reached an all time high. It's even starting to seem like agoraphobia, which isn't too pleasant.

From where I'm standing, the future seems quite hazy. I do hope it clears up soon.

6 comments:

  1. HUGS!!!!

    I Forget what year of med school you are in, but there is a classic med student dysphoria/dysthymia that sets in during the clinical years, almost always including serious questioning of one's "chosen" path and whether one wants to continue on it and how.

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    1. PS aggravation of any and all anxiety disorders would fit onto that. More of an existential questioning or crisis than a bona fides psychological disorder.

      MORE HUGS!!!

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  2. Chiara: *HUGSS* thank you. It's my final year. I do hope this goes well.

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  3. Ah, that explains it! People tell horror stories about internship, but the final year of med school is actually worse for a number of reasons. Graduation is curative. Each year is progressively better after that, with the times of final board exams being a possible exception. Still, by that point one is far better able to cope on all of life's fronts.

    BTW I had a great internship year--fatiguing, but a much better defined role in the medical hierarchy, much more focused regarding my own goals in medicine and closer to attaining them, and less "P P" (personalities and politicking).

    EXTRA HUGS!!!

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  4. You will be fine, Asmaa. Trust me. You will be just fine.

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  5. Chiara: Thanx, that's giving me some hope!

    Ahmed: Inta 3asal. Thank you dear.

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