Thursday, November 07, 2013

On Having Two Children By The Age of Nineteen.

It takes a village to raise a child. I am a 26 year old doctor and I am afraid that if I have a child I won’t be able to raise him/her well enough. It takes a wisdom I am sure only my mother possesses though I have no idea how she acquired it.

It is very common to come across a young lady in her late teens with more than one child in this country. For the sake of simplifying this, let us say a 19 year old with two children.

Most young women thrust into early marriages tend to acquire as many children as their bodies can handle as soon as possible, and will not stop attempting at procreating until their bodies can no longer serve those functions.

I wish we had better statistics.

Are they literate? Some. Have they finished high school? A few. Did they attempt at a higher education? Even fewer. She now has a tribe to raise, which is a noble job. But is she qualified to raise a tribe? Are we born with dormant mother super-powers that manifest after we give birth?

In the world of today, will being barely literate be enough to raise a tribe? It wasn’t easy when the world was simpler, but what could a young mother do?

3 comments:

  1. This topic terrifies me! i once asked a 20 year old girl if she would have children soon, she said yes why not!
    I said, but this is some serious business, you are raising a child, bringing a child into the world.. you are responsible for the environment you provide, how they should or should not think, molding them into a certain being and maybe even brainwash them with ideas you are not sure of yourself.

    She said: 3ady. it is not like that. you just go with the flow.
    So... i guess it really depends what kind of children you want to bring into the world, how serious do you take this responsibility. How far are you educated to think about all the factor. But i also believe, there is a time that a person reaches when they are ready.. ready for X Y Z .. just like everything else.

    The only problem i have with raising a tribe is not knowing how to, not educating themselves and just throw themselves into an ocean and hope they could swim.

    hmm .. yeah.

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  2. This is a really good topic, which bears elaboration. I think that often in tradition settings the young mother doesn't raise the first child so much as aid the grandmother in doing so. However, societies in transition often let go of that support, before they have adequately replaced it.

    I also find disconcerting in my university setting that there are young Muslim students who are engaged and planning weddings while still undergraduates, and frankly not the most mature. It is as if they have the trappings of adulthood (the engagement ring/ wedding ring) while still being more adolescent than the average undergraduate student. One I know is 19, acts 15ish, yet has the prominent diamond on the left ring finger. Another I am aware of is probably 21, is trying to get the premed marks to get into medical school, and has a baby after about 18 months of marriage. She is struggling, even though her husband is supportive. It isn't even clear she made any real decisions for herself rather than following parental expectations.

    In short, from the barely literate to the highly educated, one wonders about women reflexively following expectations and then not really knowing what to do with their "accomplishments".

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  3. when i was nineteen, the last thing on my mind was children.

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