It is difficult to return to work after traumatic brain injury. And I already feel like I'm spewing emotional baggage over all of you.
Sometimes I think I'm underestimating how bad this was, and that this is normal and I shouldn't feel guilty about not being able to carry on with life as usual. Other times I take it out on myself and things get ugly. I need to find a place in the middle.
I saw a few patients yesterday. It gave me stage fright. I felt like I forgot to put any clothes on and was out naked in public. I felt vulnerable and exposed.
After seeing a number of patients I felt unable to form proper sentences easily, I've consumed too much of my focusing energy and I couldn't put words together. Luckily, I didn't just point at her to shut up and leave. I wrote her prescription, which helped me regain some focus again and de-fog my brain, and I found the words to tell her how to take her meds. That wasn't easy.