Sometimes it's really difficult to resist the comfort of sinking into apathy. Caring is too painful.
You get too tired of trying to swim. You're pretty sure you know how to swim, and that there is a shore somewhere, but being alone in the water is painful.
But you're always alone in that innermost place where you try to control the storms that keep pushing you under. Regardless of how supportive and loving family and friends are, some places are just for you. And this is one of them. And when you're too tired you tend to forget that you can't fight a storm, you should let it roll off you until better weather comes. You tend to forget how little control anyone has over the universe.
But some storms are man-made and those storms you need to fight. But you've been fighting too long and the shore keeps getting further. Maybe if you stop trying to live you'll find quiet existence in the bottom of the ocean.